/straight up

fucking hate my dad. doesnt even take the time to get to know me, yet he judges me, my friends, and everything i do. he doesnt even know what i believe, what i stand up for, or anything else about me. he tells me im hanging out with the wrong people. he tells me hes disappointed. he tells me im an ingrate. he tells me he wishes he never had me. ive never once heard my dad tell me hes been proud of me. as much as i wish that life was like it was in the movies, with a loving supporting father, a picture perfect family, fights that get resolved, a place to call home. as much as i want that all, fairy tales dont come true, and thats just how life is for me. ill forever be a disgrace to my family because i dont meet their standards, or because i dont conform. after 20 years of my life, id thought id be used to it, but unfortunately im not. im not okay with the way things are, and im not okay with the way my family thinks of me. but heck, what the fuck can i do about it. i think that i just gotta live life, keep doing me, and keep standing up for what i believe in regardless what anyone else thinks, whether it be my family or anyone else. just gotta cope with that fact that im different, and accept the fact that ill have haters. gotta be optimistic and hope for the best.

/endrant

/karma

fuck you asshole :D

/atThatPoint

yes, im here once again. the part of life where we as human beings regret the decisions weve made in the past. and as much as we want to do them, have the urge to undo them, we cant, and we shouldnt. the past should stay in the past, and we should live life without regrets. we should learn and live. i just need to get over this hump, and i can finally go back to the apathetic way things used to be.

/almostThere

/thatUneasyFeeling

that one you got in your gut, when you subconsciously know somethings wrong, or about to go wrong. yeh, it sucks big balls :(

Sometimes you just need to let go, and let God

he has a plan, and you just need to have faith

I WANNA PIERCE MY EARS…

but i dont wanna get kicked out lol

/theDarkness

i guess im in a point in my life where im easily distracted. today at auditions, i totally fucked up because i cant stand a certain someone right now. after my audition, i went off to myself to think. i found myself in the darkness of night, just breathing. i layed down on the stairs and looked up at the stars and was reminded of my favorite quote. Emerson said, “when it’s darkest, men see the stars.” i shouldnt let a single person bring me down. i need to aspire to more and have hope for the future. its not always going to like this forever, but for now i needa stay optimistic and do me.

/eyeopeningnight 

Dear Self,

Dreams dont come true. Dont let your mid play tricks on you. Dont get attached, or youll only hurt yourself.

Sincerely,

Melvin

/AsOfNow

as of now, i have decided to embark on a mission to find myself. i dont think i really know who i am, who i should be, or who i want to be. no one necessarily knows what the future holds. what ive learned, is that the future is not absolute. you need to work for what you are trying to achieve. tonight, i suppose i put myself out there. it has been forever since ive done so. i have realized i changed as a person. i need to figure out where i stand now, and realize where i am heading. 

good talks, good vibes, good people, new friends, old friends, great night

/end 

oh man, just seeing you smile makes my day

all day, everyday :D

/inadequacies

i dont know why, but it feels like youre slipping away. it feels like theres nothing that i can do about it. all i can do is pray and hope to be the one to catch you if you fall.

/lettingGod

/overthinking

as much as i hate doing this, i cant help it. i dont what it is about this reality, but for some reason, im always reading people. gift or curse, i hate it. its made me grown so used to knowing, and for that, i fear not knowing. i get uneasy, act awkward, and when things are out of my hands, i freak out. as much as i do have faith, and as much as i do have my hopes, when i think and calculate all factors, all odds are against me. i know i need to let go of all my fears and my pride, but its not easy. letting go and letting god doesnt come easy. i suppose all these thoughts overflowing my mind has clouded my judgement. it just feels like a dream, like its too good to be true. emerson said, “truth is beautiful, without a doubt, but so are lies.” im afraid its only a matter of time before i wake up from this dream. needa hope for the best, and prepare for the worst

/endrant

It’s so ironic where life takes us. You think youre lost, but somehow, something always hints you that youre on the right path

<3

/myIpod

havent updated in a while! gunna throw new music on this bitch hehehe.

sugesstions plz :D

http://mdequirozfaner.tumblr.com/ask

http://mdequirozfaner.tumblr.com/ask

http://mdequirozfaner.tumblr.com/ask

/thanksbebs

/tooShort

life is too short to be hesitating. its too short to be pondering on the past. YOLO: You only live once, and that’s true. Only one thing is promised in life, and that’s death. everyone dies, but not everyone really lives. i’m scared of the future, and whats to come. i have no idea what path i’m heading down now, but i decided this is no time to hesitate. i’m young, and now is the time to make mistakes and prep for the future. live life to the fullest and enjoy the time i have.

/beOptimistic